I turn to look at you. All I want is to see you, your face, your eyes, anything, but your so far gone that you really aren't there. My eyes register your basic figure, but that's all you are, a basic figure. The space inside your outline remains to be filled. It remains to be filled with guesses, with hopes, with anything and everything I used to know but can longer guarantee.
You're gone, and so am I. Let's just face it, there's no room to go back. This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn, or at least, not for both of us, and I can't leave you here just as much as you can't leave me.
I'm stuck, but that's okay. You're here, too.
I think this a great poem about life because of the connection from one person to the other and how they will be together in the end. "I'm stuck, but that's okay. You're here, too." This quote states that they are both stuck on earth but they are happy to be together on earth. Therefore, this poem states that life is not eternal, but you are stuck here, though you should spend the time with someone you love.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a good poem. I liked how you used figurative language. "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn" This would be a metaphor and this makes the piece more interesting and effective. I also found some personification: " The space inside your outline remains to be filled. It remains to be filled with guesses, with hopes," This is better than just saying something. The figurative language gives people more to think about. Therefore, since you had figurative language like metaphors and personification, it makes it a good poem.
ReplyDeleteWow! I really liked this piece because not only was it written very well, but also because it was so relatable and deep. In the poem it says, " My eyes register your basic figure, but that's all you are, a basic figure. The space inside your outline remains to be filled. It remains to be filled with guesses, with hopes, with anything and everything I used to know but can longer guarantee." This line perfectly puts the feelings we get into words when we feel like we are losing someone, and that made me a lot more interested in the poem as well. Therefore, by describing everything so precisely and exactly matching emotions to words, I thought this piece was relatable, which was one of the reasons why it was so great.
ReplyDeleteI like this writing piece because you can make real life connections to this, it was also very well written and added alot of figurative language, therefore it was a good piece
ReplyDeletethis is a good poem. i think the two people in the story are really depreased. it gets you thinking why are they depressed and if they are going to get out of it. i also think people that are or have been really sad or depressed can relate to this. good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a good piece! I really liked the way you described the feelings of the character. It felt like I was the main character writing the poem. Like Bella said, I really liked the metaphor "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn..." I thought that was an interesting way of saying "we can't go back" Overall, this poem was so good!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great poem. people can relight to this very easily. There for it was a great poem
ReplyDeleteThis was a good piece because you described the character's feelings really well, you feel like you are right next to them, feeling their feelings. I also like the metaphor, "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn." I thought it was a great way of saying we can't turn around and make changes. Therefore, this piece was really good!
ReplyDeleteI liked this because the story started as in a very upset tone but then it got kind of happy almost. Like when you said, "I'm stuck but that's okay" this made the tone more positive. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I thought this poem was kind of sweet but still sad because like Nicole said the tone was kind of upset, but then it went happy! Anyway, I also liked this poem because it turned the negatives into positives. For example, like Nicole also said, the poem stated, "I'm stuck, but that's ok. You are here, too." and this shows that the situation is bad but that it could be turned into somethig good!
ReplyDeleteI liked the tone of this poem also because of the way to goes from being sad to happy. At first it says that you can barely even make the guy out, that only hope fills him but by the end he is standing right beside you. Therefore it moved me because it has a positive ending.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good poem because I can picture someone thinking about this in their mind. This story can really connect to some peoples lifes and and you can see what the character is feeling. Therefore this poem was a great piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a well written poem because it can be related to real life. This poem basically says that you will eventually meet someone who will sometimes bug or annoy you and you might want to leave, but the relationship is too strong and meaninggul to just throw away. Also, I think this poem symbolizes the good and bad times in a relationship and how sometimes you just want to leave it behind, but in the end you see the real reason why you started the relationship in the beginning and you will want to stay. Therefore, this poem is very effective literature.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot, it is very well writen. The tone changed which made it more interesting. It went from sad to happy. At first the thoughts seemed mad or upset with the other person, and towards the end you can tell that the other person is missed. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI loved how deep this poem was written because it made me think. For example, when it said, "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn, or at least, not for both of us, and I can't leave you here just as much as you can't leave me." it got me so into it trying to think of different things that this one part could mean. Therefore, it was great because it was very in depth and meaningful :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem because of how not only was the tone upset, but it switched at the end. For example, the whole poem seems like it is about missing someone now that they are gone, but then when it says, "I'm stuck, but that's okay.You're still here, too." meaning that they are still there and this person is happy about that. I thought it was interesting how it changed. Therefore, I enjoyed reading this poem because the tone or attitude changed.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem because of its depth. It also had good writing strategies like when you used repetition. You said,"to see you your face, your eyes." this use of repetition made your key point known. Therefore the use of repetition added strength to your main idea.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem. I like this poem because it makes a connection to the real world. Also like what AntA said u had a good use of repetition in your poem too
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem because it sort of confused me. For example when you say, " All I want is to see you, your face, your eyes, anything, but your so far gone that you really aren't there. My eyes register your basic figure, but that's all you are, a basic figure." it got me thinking whether this is symbolism. My first reaction is that the person is sick and all that is left is the physical being and everything else is gone. They have no emotions or feelings, they are just there. This poem good because it made me question what the point was that you were trying to show.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is really good. It is very deep and I especially like the line that says "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn, or at least, not for both of us, and I can't leave you here just as much as you can't leave me." This line really made me think. Therefore it is a good piece because it was deep and made me think about what it means.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is good for various reasons! It was good because I had to dig deep and it was a little confusing if you didn't read between the lines. This story/poem is not all right there, you can't just skim throught it in a matter of seconds because it actually takes thought and time to understand which is what most poets strive for. It was implicit and a very good piece; after a little while, I really understood the meaning.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem because it has to do with the real world. I think the poem is saying that everyone is stuck on this earth so let's keep the peace. The quote, "My eyes register a basic figure, but that's all you are, a basic figure," is saying that even though i don't really know who you are i know you are going through the same difficulties that i am going through. Therefore this poem was a good poem for real world connections.
ReplyDeleteThis was really good! I like the figurative language that you used. I especially liked the metaphor, "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn" that was soooo good. And to be honest the whole poem was generally cute. To be more specific, I liked the last line, "This road isn't wide enough for a u-turn, or at least, not for both of us, and I can't leave you here just as much as you can't leave me.
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck, but that's okay. You're here, too." I loved it so, so, so, much.