This is a blog to write whatever you want and share it with your peers for appreciation and commentary.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
million dollar walls
In the dudgeons of my mind Lurks the wayward notion Of glory and fame But most of all To see my art On those million dollar walls Then reality comes to give me a kick And i settle into these cruel facts
I loved the title. Once I say the title i really wanted to see what the story was going to be about. Even though it wasent long it was ful of heart and interesting detial. Its not the best thing i've ever read but its close! Really good job
haha! yeah like Colleen and Jenna said, I also really like your title because it definitly made me want to read on! and once i did read it; it made me smile because it was a very good example of short and sweet! I actually love short poems that have detail and "heart" (as colleen said)! Overall, you did a great job and you should definitly keep writing poetry because you are veryy good at it!
I loved this. Its like every young artists nightmare. However the last line seemed like it was off rhythm to me. I don't know, I'm really picky when it comes to poetry.
like everyone else said, I like your title. When I was scanning through the pieces to find one to read this title caught my eye, so I chose to read your poem! Other than that, I like the rest of it too! The only thing I would say to improve would be maybe you could be even less obvious-not that you were-to make the reader have to dig deeper to get meaning. (like those poems we read last year in Mrs.Levers class)(wait you were in my class right?) You don't have to though, it still is really good!
I don't know what you are talking about when you said you were rusty!! I loved this poem and I thought that it was amazing. Like everyone else said, I think that that it starts off with a great title that continues with a wondrous poem. I think that you should definitely continue writing poetry because you are really good at it!
As everyone else said this is an interesting poem. The title caught my eye. You always have picked great titles don't get me wrong. I also like the fact that you wrote about something that you have a passion for. You’re always drawing when you get a chance and now you but your feelings into rhyme, great job Kace.
Like everyone else mentioned, i like the title. i also like that it is a metaphor. Also great use of personification when you said "then reality comes to give me a kick." however, i wish it was a little longer. you can describe more of what you are feeling.
I thought this poem was very well organized, creative, and the title was great. The title really grabbed me in and the poem was really deep and meaningful. Although it was great I would of really liked to read more.
A suggestion I have is in the last line when you wrote, "And I settle into these cruel facts," you should have continued the personification of reality and wrote its cruel facts instead of these cruel facts. Otherwise, I thought it was awesome!
This is a really good poem. The title caught my attention, and the poem was very creative. It made me think. And i also think it should be a little bit longer. Nice Work.
The thing I loved the most about this poem was the title. Honestly the title really grabbed my and so did your word choice you used. Even though it was short it was really interesting and the shortness kept you hooked in (just like book talks). You're a really talented writer and artist. Keep it up Kace!
I have to agree! When I saw the title "million dollar walls" I immediately wanted to read it because a I was wondering what the story could be about because it had such a unique and interesting title.
I love the way it flows but doesn't have to rhyme. The way it never comes out and says that you want to be a famous and wealthy artist but shows it through your passion and lingering for it is beautiful. I loved it.
I like this poem because it is very relatable. The last two lines say, "Then reality comes to give me a kick | And i settle into these cruel facts." Now in the poem you're talking about art but those two lines are relatable to just about anything. When kids play sports they all imaging themselves playing on a big name team winning the game but a lot of them then realize that it probably isn't going to happen (not saying your art isn't going to be famous). Therefore I like the poem because it was relatable.
im a little bit rusty on poetry, any advice?
ReplyDeleteI loved the title. Once I say the title i really wanted to see what the story was going to be about. Even though it wasent long it was ful of heart and interesting detial. Its not the best thing i've ever read but its close!
ReplyDeleteReally good job
it is really good and i loved how it really made you think and ask questions at the end. i also really like the title.
ReplyDeletewait what questions? it wasnt supposed to..
ReplyDeletehaha! yeah like Colleen and Jenna said, I also really like your title because it definitly made me want to read on! and once i did read it; it made me smile because it was a very good example of short and sweet! I actually love short poems that have detail and "heart" (as colleen said)! Overall, you did a great job and you should definitly keep writing poetry because you are veryy good at it!
ReplyDeleteAre you into art.
ReplyDeleteI loved this. Its like every young artists nightmare. However the last line seemed like it was off rhythm to me. I don't know, I'm really picky when it comes to poetry.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great poem it made me think a little what it was supposed to be about but thats what its supposed to do great job!
ReplyDeletelike everyone else said, I like your title. When I was scanning through the pieces to find one to read this title caught my eye, so I chose to read your poem! Other than that, I like the rest of it too! The only thing I would say to improve would be maybe you could be even less obvious-not that you were-to make the reader have to dig deeper to get meaning. (like those poems we read last year in Mrs.Levers class)(wait you were in my class right?) You don't have to though, it still is really good!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you are talking about when you said you were rusty!! I loved this poem and I thought that it was amazing. Like everyone else said, I think that that it starts off with a great title that continues with a wondrous poem. I think that you should definitely continue writing poetry because you are really good at it!
ReplyDeleteAs everyone else said this is an interesting poem. The title caught my eye. You always have picked great titles don't get me wrong. I also like the fact that you wrote about something that you have a passion for. You’re always drawing when you get a chance and now you but your feelings into rhyme, great job Kace.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else mentioned, i like the title. i also like that it is a metaphor. Also great use of personification when you said "then reality comes to give me a kick." however, i wish it was a little longer. you can describe more of what you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteI thought this poem was very well organized, creative, and the title was great. The title really grabbed me in and the poem was really deep and meaningful. Although it was great I would of really liked to read more.
ReplyDeleteA suggestion I have is in the last line when you wrote, "And I settle into these cruel facts," you should have continued the personification of reality and wrote its cruel facts instead of these cruel facts. Otherwise, I thought it was awesome!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good poem. The title caught my attention, and the poem was very creative. It made me think. And i also think it should be a little bit longer. Nice Work.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great poem. I like both the title, but mostly the opening line. It really grabbed me
ReplyDeletegood shift. I like that word you used, "wayward", it flows.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I loved the most about this poem was the title. Honestly the title really grabbed my and so did your word choice you used. Even though it was short it was really interesting and the shortness kept you hooked in (just like book talks). You're a really talented writer and artist. Keep it up Kace!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree! When I saw the title "million dollar walls" I immediately wanted to read it because a I was wondering what the story could be about because it had such a unique and interesting title.
ReplyDeleteI love the way it flows but doesn't have to rhyme. The way it never comes out and says that you want to be a famous and wealthy artist but shows it through your passion and lingering for it is beautiful. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteIts good and I think that when someone has a good talent people take aduantage of them because they want to be rich and famous.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem because it is very relatable. The last two lines say, "Then reality comes to give me a kick | And i settle into these cruel facts." Now in the poem you're talking about art but those two lines are relatable to just about anything. When kids play sports they all imaging themselves playing on a big name team winning the game but a lot of them then realize that it probably isn't going to happen (not saying your art isn't going to be famous). Therefore I like the poem because it was relatable.
ReplyDelete