I placed a ball at the top of Mount Everest,
It started there and proceeded on and on.
It started small and grew larger as it went down the mountain,
The ball had hard times and easy times.
It hit the bottom of the mountain,
Which ended its course of progression.
This poem was effective for two reasons. 1 it reminds me of the poem about the jar on the hill in Tennessee and 2 is the oppposite of a regular poem. For example, most poems talk about getting older and going up the mountain not down. But in this poem you talked about going down the mountain. Its hard to know exactly what you are talking about even though its short. Therefore, you did a good job with word choice, and its different. It makes you wonder what the bottom of the mountain is in only 6 lines.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really good because it used good vocabulary for example, you used the word procede instead of using, keeps going. This word much better for the flow of the poem. Therefore the poem is easier to understand and read because of the word choice.
ReplyDeleteThis was an effective poem because it uses symbolism. The ball on the hill represents life and how is 'has its up and its downs'. Therefore the secret meaning behind it gives it a larger purpose and will make the reader and interpreter think for a longer period of time about it.
ReplyDeleteI thought the poem had good symbolism like jess. In the Poem when it said, “It started small and grew larger". This helped me understand that the ball was about life. Because, like a child, the ball grew bigger and bigger. That is how your poem is effective.
ReplyDeleteI likle how you compared a ball rolling mt everest to our life. because it is true sometimes there are rocky times and sometimes there are the best days. but in the end we all will get to the end of the mountain.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the symbolism in this poem. However, I think you could have used more figurative language. For example, "It hit the bottom of the mountain," This is just telling that the ball hit the bottom of the mountain. I think you could have described it more and showed it instead of telling. Overall, I thought this piece was good, it just needed a little more description.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem because of the symbolism. Like Jess said that ball represents life and the mountain represents the ups and downs that life has. And when the ball hits the bottom of the hill it represents how the ball overcame the ups and downs. Therefore, this poem is effective because of the symbolism it uses to help it relate to real life.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot because you used good word choice to make it easier to understand. For example in the last sentance you said, "Which ended its course of progression." This is much more descriptive than, "then it stoped." Therefore since you used a more descriptive word choice, this poem was easier to understand.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem a lot. The title definitely fits it. You used the ball at the top of mount Everest to symbolize life itself; how in life we grow have easy times and bad times and then our life ends, just like the ball. However, I agree with bella it could be made much better if you added more figurative language. But besides that very nice job!
ReplyDeleteI liked your use of symbolism because it is very unique. For example, many people would never think of symbolizing life for a ball rolling down Everest. Therefore, I really liked this poem because you symbolized very well!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very good poem because the ball symbolizes somebodies life course. The was very effective because you get to see how someones life is. Therfore this poem was very effective and good.
ReplyDeleteThe symbolism of the poem made the poem extremely effective. For example, you effectively used the "ball" as a symbol of a person's life. Therefore, this poem is effective because of the symbolism.
ReplyDeleteAs everyone else has said you used symbolism really well. It really helped this poem become deep and effective. An excellent example of this is when how you used the ball to symbolism someone life. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI think this poem was good because you used sybolizem.For example where it says,"The ball had hard times and easy times."This represents the hardtimes and easy times in a persons life.Therefore this is a good poem because it uses symbolize to represtent a persons life.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great poem, you had a great use of symbolism in this poem, by displaying the course of life with a ball rolling down Mt. Everest. "It started small and grew larger as it went down the mountain, The ball had hard times and easy times," is a great line because shows how a person grows and also how that person has good times and bad times. Therefore, this poem is really good because of its use of symbolism.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good poem, it was interesting because there was good symbolism in this poem. For example the ball symbolizes a persons life, which was a clever way to tell this poem. Therefore this is a great poem that has good symbolism.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good poem. The ball symbolized life and how it has its ups and downs but in the end you get through it. Very good use of vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteAs everyone has been saying, you had really good symbolism in it. I think this because you picked a unique thing to symbolize life and the ups and downs. The ball symbolizes life and the mountain symbolizes the ups and downs. Plus this poem is very easy to relate to. I have a few bad things in my life, but thankfully, the good things in my life help me get through the bad. Therefore, this poem has very good symbolism in it and is very easy to relate to! Good job Matt!
ReplyDeleteAt first, I thought that this poem was going to be about the "snowball" effect, (which is a bit of a cliche,) so i was pleasantly surprised to find that it is a poem about life. I thought it was very original and symbolic so good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem, because you used good word choice and you had symbolism. The ball of snow rolling down a mountain represented a person and their life. Also you used good words like "proceeded" and "progression". These words helped to keep the poem interesting. Therefore, since you had good word choice and you used symbolism, this is a great poem.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really good! I liked how the usually poems about this are about the journey up the mountain, but yours was the overall journey of live down the mountain. It was a very good twist to a stereo-typical type poem.
ReplyDeleteI thought this poem has great symbols in it. What i think it's saying is that people are born and then start going through life. All people have good time and all people have bad times and then people come to their end. It's how life is and how it will always be. Therefore i think this poem is a whole symbol by itself.
ReplyDeleteI am confused about the idea and meaning because the poem seems to contradict the title. Circle of life to me means that life keeps going on because the current generation has children that continue to live. However you title your poem this but right about only one time around the circle and do not show how it continues to go on no matter what happens to the current generation, the hard and easy times for the ball in your poem. Upon this information I have come to the conclusion that your Poem is not related, in a way that I am capable of understanding, to the circle of life. I hope that it is apparent that I could be completely missing the point of this story.
ReplyDeleteThis had nice symbolism with the ball rolling down the mountain, and it was clear what you were trying to say about life. The only thing i would say to make this poem better would be to be a little less blatant. Like when you said, "The ball had hard times and easy time" it wasn't that hard to find the meaning. You were basically saying a person has hard times and easy times. Its still a really good poem though and a good idea!
ReplyDeleteI thought that this was a great poem because the ball really had a great symbol as a person and how their life moves along. Also it was very effective poem because of the vocab you used like proceed. Therefore, you had a great poem that had a good symbol and well written vocab.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem because of the great use of symbolism, and it reminded me of the poem that we annotated in class about the jar in Tennessee. I like how the poem is written in a non-literal form, about a very literal topic. Therefore, this poem was effective because of the symbolism.
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