Somtimes a simple smile
Can make a friend
Open a door
Or brighten someone's mood
Like the morning sun
Over the horizon
Setting a glow to the new day
Somtimes a simple smile
Is all we need
All we want
And it will help us
Everyday, for the rest of our lives
Sometimes a simple smile
Can be quite contagoius
And the joy it brings
Is not a destination
But a way of life
(Sorry to whoever is reading this. I didn't put in the obnoxious spacing.)
I thought that this poem was well written because of the use of repitition for effect. The repeated line, "Sometimes a simple smile" made the stanzas fit well together to flow into each other without everything being choppy. This one line stood out to me in the poem, and it also can make the audience think a bit more about what the poem is trying to get across with saying. Therefore, I think that this poem was very enioyable to read. -Abby Salamon
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem. I can relight to it. There was once a commercial that some one did some thing nice to another person. And that person did some thing nice to a person and so on. Just like the commercial, the smile in the poem was contagious. over all I liked it.
ReplyDeleteI think this poem was okay, but there was little to no symbolism which is an important factor to poetry. The whole poem just talks about a simple smile brightening someone's day and so on, and it is told, instead of illustrated through a symbol. I think by just telling the reader this, it takes away a lot of interest and it makes this poem average. Therefore, this poem was okay, but I think that if you would have added symbolism, and some better imagery, it would have stood out a lot more and it would have been more interesting. (However, I must add that I really liked the last two lines )
ReplyDeleteYeah I agree with Kami with how you used very little imagery and symbolism. However, I like the fact that your poem has a univeral topic that everyone can connect do since everybody smiles at least once a day. On the other hand, if people can't connect to the topic on how smiles make them feel better, this is a great controversial poem because someone can easily disagree on how smiles don't make them the least bit happier. Therefore, having the opportunity to agree or disagree with the theme makes this a good connection poem.
ReplyDeleteI thought this poem was alright because you did have repetition in it.For example in your poem it states,"Sometimes a simple smile" which you stated twice.Therefore this show that your poem is alright because you use repetition two times but there's no real imagery or symbolism.
ReplyDeleteThis poem had nice repetition with the line "Sometimes a simple smile". I also liked that you talked about how just a smile can do so much. You said it "Can make a friend, Open a door, Or brighten someone's mood" and that "It will help us, Everyday, for the rest of our lives." So overall this poem had good use of repetition and I loved the message!!
ReplyDeleteThis poem could be great if you added more poetic device. For example, Sometimes a simple smile Can be quite contagoius" In this particular line, you were telling, not showing. So you could have said something like "sometimes a simple smile spreads like rumors in a middle school" But besides the little poetic device used, The message was great and it was enjoyable to read. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI like the topic of the poem. However, I think you should make the lines longer. You can add some figurative language, imagery, symbolism or just combine 2 lines and make them one. The broken up lines messes up the flow of the poem and takes away from it. Therefore it will read easier if the lines were longer.
ReplyDeleteI thought that this poem was very well written becasue of the authors's good use of figurative language. The line"Or brighten someone's mood Like the morning sun Over the horizon Setting a glow to the new day." That is a good line because it put a good image into the readers' mind. i can picture the person becoming happy and the morning sun rising. Therefore this is a good poem because of the author's use of figurative language.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a well written piece of writing, but it could've been better. I thought this piece was well writen because of the repetiton but I thought the poem would have been even better if you added more figurative language. Therefore I found this poem alright because it had some good traits, but was missing some too
ReplyDelete- will
I thought this was a very well written piece of writing because of the repetition for effect and your figurative situation. For example you repeated "Sometimes a simple smile" throughout the poem and it was effective. Also when you said, "Or brighten someone's mood Like the morning sun Over the horizon Setting a glow to the new day." This was a good use of figurative language and it put the image in the readers mind. Therefore i thought this was very well written because of the repetition and figurative language.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem a lot because it has a very well written message on how a smile can really make a world of things for everyone. Your poem really got me to smile because of the great job you did with it. Therefore, great poem and message to the reader.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem because it was absolutly true. Many people write poems about thinkgs that are bound not to happen, but your can happen and it does. Smiles can do all those things. Also, I thought the repetition was very good in the poem. It was subtle but fit the poem nicely.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most people who commented on this who said that the poem needed a little more symbolism or imagery, but the topic was very good. I like your idea and I like where you are going with the poem, but I feel like if you spend a little more time on it and just make it less literal, then it will be even better. Therefore, this was an okay poem because it has a good idea but lacks symbolism and imagery.
ReplyDelete