I am the thing that come at the end of the school year,
at the end of my time is school work and tests,
I am the time for pool parties,cookouts, and vacations,
I am the reason for the start of the holidays called memorial day, independence day, and labor day,
I can bring long droughts, tornado, or a nice warm sunny do nothing day,
I would be lost for seven months until the time of graduations,
I am coming up in the next few days,
who am I?
SANTA CLAUSE!
ReplyDeleteheh. That was a joke, of course, because your riddle was too obvious. Make it more challenging and next time I'll answer seriously! =^.^=
No offense but I thought this was kind of pointless. I mean as soon as people read the first line they know the answer so there isn't much of a reason to keep reading. I agree with Lian, this has to be much more challenging for it to get people's interest and become a good writing piece. So I think that this could use some work.
ReplyDeleteOkay like with what everyone else said, this was really obvious. I don't really think it has an writing value because it is really obvious. And it doesn't have any writing tricks, or anything that we learned in class. Therefore, since it was really obvious and lacked writing tricks, it needs to be improved.
ReplyDeleteThis was so obvious because as soon as I read the first two lines or so, I knew the answer riht away. To make it not as obvious, you could've made it more challenging with better clues to make the reader have to think. This was too easy to figure out, and also the title was weak. Therefore, this writing piece should be improved to make it stronger and more challenging.
ReplyDelete-Abby Salamon
I didnt like this poem because there wasnt really any point to it. For example the answer to your riddle was very obvious and there were no writing tricks anywhere in your poem. Therefore, i think you need to add more writing tricks to improve your poem.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like this because it was obvious and more of a riddle rather than a poem. If this went more in depth and didn't ask what it was, it would have been better. However, because it was too obvious and to the point, it was not that great. Therefore, you should make it more meaningful and not obvious.
ReplyDeleteI liked this because it was not like the traditional poem. It made the reader guess what you were talking about, but it was too easy to guess. Therefore, I liked this poem.
ReplyDeleteI will answer this poem because no one else has. It's summer. And just saying, this wasn't even a poem. Everyone is saying it's a bad poem but actually it is just bad literature because it is pointless; not even a poem at all. For example, there is no thematic meaning; there are no writing tricks, imagery, or really anything that would make this writing good. And it is so obvious there is no real reason to have it on this blog. Therefore, it is not a poem, it is not literature, and it is unnecessary, meaningless words.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rory. This piece isnt a poem, its more of a riddle if anything. Maybe you werent intending to make it a poem, but there are still ways you can make it better. I noticed how you were very explicit with your words and didnt "hint" your point to your reader. For example instead of saying "I am the reason for the start of the holidays called memorial day, independence day, and labor day," You could say "I am the reason for the colorful fireworks dispersing in the night sky, and the millions of backyard barbecues" It just makes it more implicit and less boring for the reader.
ReplyDelete