The color of blood
the flower of love and death
grows wildly in forests
untamed and protected
secure
safe from harm with its pin sharp thorns
its beauty can't be written or spoken
you must embrace it
an object that when give to a loved one stands for a thousand words
I like this poem, but i have a few suggestions.
ReplyDelete"grows wildly in forests" i feel like this line kinda threw a wrench in the flow. i like how the idea keeps going in the next lines, but i feel like that one line needs to be rephrased.... maybe instead you could say, rampant through the thicket.. and so on.
my only other promblem, is kinda a specifics one that doesnt really matter. a rose can be a couple of colors, yellow, white, red, pink, or even purple, and they all have different meanings. and not all roses have thorns, some have been de-thorned genitically, and some have very little thorns, such as the ones that grow wildly. long- stem roses, the ones that you think of when you hear rose, are hard to grow and dont grow very much on their own.
(i know way too much about flowers...)
but i liked this poem nonetheless.
I really liked this poem but the title "Rose" gave what the poem was supposed to be about. For example the first line: "The color of blood". Instead of having the object as your title, I think that you could of changed the title to something different and at the end of the poem kind of give away that it was about a rose so that the reader would be wondering what it was about and be surprised because maybe it wasn't what they thought it was. Otherwise the poem was great!
ReplyDeleteI liked your poem because you used good words and made it sound right. For example in the poem you said “untamed and protected" I liked that because it had two good words. Also it made it sound amazing and not boring. Therefore that is why i think this was a good poem.
ReplyDeleteThis was good! I feel like you could have used better word choice though when you were trying to get something across. Like when you said "an object that when given to a loved one stands for a thousand words", you could have used a better word than 'object'. The synonyms are endless, and just changing a few words can make this poem even better! good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was pretty good. Maybe some more literary devices would make this more effective. I like you hyperbole as well, it shows that a single object can be translated into a thousand words. So it is saying that the object, in this case the rose, is an important object and can be described into as many as a thousand words. Therefore, this poem is using some literary elements, but maybe could have used more to make it even more imagery also.
ReplyDelete