The black rift is a condescending eye above the feeble earth. It is the embodiment of hopelessness, the enemy that cannot be fought. It swiftly pulls up dust, dirt, and sand in a raging tornado, uproots trees and buildings like a hand picks a berry, and rips mountains off the face of the earth. Oceans become backwards waterfalls; plate tectonics are peeled off the earth like an onion, and the tiny, spinning ball stops for a moment, before being sucked into the ever-hungry mouth. Everything known to humanity is ended. Fast food restaurants, pie recipes, classic novels, and iguanas no longer exist. Everything we had worked for, budgeted, or grow, all gone. Everything humans thought was incredible on earth no longer exists. The universe with life one tiny island is now just a desolate, empty space, where rocks crash into each other stars burn out, and pressure and heat fluctuate. With no observers, there is no big or small, forever can happen in an instant, and nothing means anything.
Wow that's really good
ReplyDeleteThat is very good.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you started this short story/paragraph! ("The black rift is a condescending eye above the feeble earth. It is the embodiment of hopelessness, the enemy that cannot be fought.") It really hooked me on and led me on to keep reading because of the immense detail in it! Good job Bailey!
ReplyDeleteAmazing, it was so deep, and had some very good similies and an expanded moment. And I like that bit of humor about the iguanas. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI really like this, it had really good word choice and a slightly somber tone. However, unlike what Just In Time said, I didn't really like the whole iguana thing. It kind of threw me off a bit, like a sudden random change in tone. Other than that, this was great.
ReplyDeleteI actually liked the iguana part. I loved all the detail. I thought "forever can happen in an instant, and nothing means anything" was a great way to conclude the piece.
ReplyDeleteI really like this! It was so full of detail and just really interesting I like your title even though it seems like a common one it really fits in with your story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this! You used a lot of detail and strong words that made your story even better. You also had a strong ending, "Forever can happen in an instant, and nothing means anything." It made me think for a minute. I agree with Lidia about the iguana part too.
ReplyDeleteWow! This was really good! You had lots of really good describing words that were very complex and the imagery was great because of it! Great job!
ReplyDelete