This is a blog to write whatever you want and share it with your peers for appreciation and commentary.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
"Where......... did it ......... go" Carl manged to gasp out in between breath. "I dont know Eric whispered. For a moment Carl and Eric felt, but that all ended when the beast rampaged out of the bushes behind them like an unstoppable freight train. "RUN" Eric screeched only to see his bestfriend get snatched up by the beast, get thrown in like a baseball into a nearby tree, and watch his lifeless body drop to the ground. Time seemed to freeze and Eric finally was able to get a good look at the nasty creature. It had dark brown hair covering its whole body, black slime oozing out between its jagged teeth, and it had four muscular arms with two finger on the end of each that kept opening and closing. what scared thomas the most though was that the creature seemed to have no eye just fuzzy tenticles draping from its forehead wiggling back and forth towards every sound made in the woods. Eric then new that the beast saw through hearing. Eric furious over what happened to his friend knew what he had to do and with that he charged towards the beast.
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This lead is very affective.
ReplyDeleteJust like joey said this is a very affective lead, but what is the title of this piece?
ReplyDeleteThis piece is not that effective to me. Although, it does have a good lead as Joey and Kevin said. Also it has a good simile, "Get thrown like a baseball." Good use of figurative language. It good be a little more detailed.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is a good piece of literature to me, especially because it has such a catchie lead, and good figurative language
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