Softball, it's not just a sport. To some people, it's about way more than that.
It's about catching that ball that can't be caught.
It's about hitting that ball that no one else can hit.
It's about the bruises and injuries that leave permanent marks on your skin.
It's about those bad calls by the umpire that we just can't control.
It's about getting those big dirt stains on your pants that never wash out.
It's about making mistakes that you know you won't make again.
It's about your team that soon becomes like your family.
It's playing the game you love.
First of all, I liked that you were descriptive through out your poem. On the other hand I would have liked it more if it had a theme. I really like the last sentence and you could definitely use that and build on it to make your poem universal, or at least to give the piece a theme.
ReplyDeleteI liked this piece you really discribed what the game is like. When I got to the middle of the poem i could tell that that sentence would come. To make this poem better maybe you could have added some writing tricks such as figurative language.
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ReplyDeleteI liked all the repetition! Every line would start with "it's about..' and that gave your poem good rhythm. Besides that though, I would say to work on stating an opinion, because some of the things you said made it seem like a reason people wouldn't like like softball, and others seemed like a reason someone would love softball.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was a really cool way of explaining your passion for softball! I like how you used repetition throughout the piece! It was really creative and it made it more fun to read!
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