It had been days. During those long five days I had worried, stressed, cried, hoped and prayed. Every day after school running down to the mailbox a thousand doubts flickered like fireflies through my mind. What if I'm not good enough? What if I didn't make it? Will I make it to college without it? My heart was split in a million different directions when I jogged down my deathtrap of a driveway and into the battered road. I always felt the mix of dissappointment and relief when all that returned from the depths of my mailbox was junk and bills.
But today was different. I could feel it in my bones, as my mother would say. Drifting through school, my stomache would lurch everytime that mailbox came to mind. Something kept me floating throught the day, not letting me fall into the sticky oil trap of stress and worry.
Calling my ma to tell her everything was peachy, I nervously watched the door. I soothed whatever fear was occupying her thoughts and told her I had to check the mail. She started to voice her doubts but I cut her off and didnt let that state of mind come into my head. I walked carefully down the driveway, picking my way through half plowed snow and frozen puddles of ice. I placed my foot into the dug out indent of my sisters, and grabbed the letters. Behind all the white envolpes of bills I saw a ostentatious champange one. I forced myself to look at the names at the others ones. The other three letters were bills, as I'd expected. I looked at the sender off this last letter. Oh my God. Printed neatly on the left corner was Trumbull Agriscience and Biotechnolgy. I nearly fell over right then, in the middle of the snow covered road. I tore open the envolope almost viciously. I stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs as one word blurred under my gaze. Congratulations. I felt weak at the knees. I heard someone whispering oh my God over and over, but didnt realise it was me. My eyes teared and a smile ripped apart my face. Running my eyes over the letter again and again, I collapsed onto the couch. As the first sweet tear rolled down my cheek I whispered in the happiest voice I had ever heard, "I made it."
Well, first, if this is a true story, congradulations for making into that school. If not, then whatever. This piece of writing was good because you used a lot of different strategies. For example, you used opening adjectives and phrases to vary sentence length. I also like that you had interesting words, like "peachy." By using different strategies, you kept me interested the whole time.
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