Although everyday gets better
My face still gets wetter
From thinking of you
Though there is nothing I can do
But remember you
I can remember your smile
I can remember your laugh
I can remember everything in the past
Though there will be no future with you
And no present too
I can still keep on remembering you
I really enjoyed reading this poem because it had a little bit of repitition to it, but also most people can relate to it.The first stanza helps with the repition throughout the poem. Also, the topic of remembering someone can apply to many people, especially our age,which I liked. Therefore, this poem was well written, and very enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem Bella, It has good repition. The topic is good because almost everyone has lost someone important to them. People will be able to relate to this.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem because it very relatable. While being the age we are right now, we are going to have a lot have to deal with a lot of losses of people we love whether it is a death or just losing a boyfriend/girlfriend and this poem could definitely connect to BOTH of those things. Therefore, this is a very relatable poem. Mostly everyone in our age group could probably connect to/with this poem and that is what you kind of want to aim at. Great job Bella! :)
ReplyDeleteI thought this poem was pretty unique in a way. I do agree with Abby that the repitition was good. This is a good poem to make a connection to and relate back to the story on how people lose other things and still that they are so important that they have to keep remembering them.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good poem because you have a nice subject and you do use good repetition, plus it's short and sweet but the one thing that I think you should change is when you use the word "wetter". When you make a poem rhyme it has to be effortless or it doesn't sound good and your whole piece sounded good except for that word. if you just change that I think it would be really good.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a really good poem because it was easy to relate to. Everyone our age can relate to this situation, whether its losing a close friendship or a boyfriend or girlfreind. Therefore this poem is easily relatable. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem Bella. It was very cute and (like Zach said)it something that anyone could relate to no matter what kind of loss they're going through. I also liked your description and word choice. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI like this poem but I feel that it could be improved because there were some weak spots. For example, the second stanza (starts with, "I can remember your smile..." and then ends with, "everything in the past..."), just states without any description. Therefore, I feel that there could be more imagery that would overall make the poem a better piece.
ReplyDeleteIt was very easy for me to relate to this peom and I think thats why I enjoyed it so much, I thought it was very good.
ReplyDeleteBriana Moniz
I loved this poem! I think it was really relatable, like a lot of people said. Even though it was a short poem, I feel like you added a lot of detail throughout it. I also like the repetition for effect in the second paragraph. Really good poem!
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really good because I could connect to it easily. I know the pain of missing someone so it was easy for me to understand. Also, the repetition gave it a better flow.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot. I also agree with zSchulz because it is true a lot of people in our grade go through these times where they either lose a close friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Zack because its a story people can relate to. If they’re old or young. This was a very good poem.
ReplyDeleteI mostly agree with everyones comment on easy to connect to and how the poem is good because it's short and understandable. the only thing i would say to improve on this is to make the poem deeper, you want to make your readers question on what your writing about, not tell them. but overall i liked the poem
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem! One of the best parts of it was that it rhymed. I have a pet peeve about poems not ryming for some reason so I loved it. Also just like everyone else has been saying I find that the poem is very easy to connect to because we have all lost someone that was close to us. Over all great job.
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