Grey as day can be,
with just the right amount of white,
comes the rain
to pause the pain
and bring upon the light.
But there he sits,
all the same.
His park bench in the rain.
And here I sit,
all the same.
Beside my windowpane.
I tap the glass once,
perhaps he will look up.
But one tap will not do,
he remains a statue.
My hand knocks twice.
And his response?
Bleached, wrinkled face,
nothing to replace
the hallow of his eyes.
Three times to tremble the glass
is what it takes to see
that there is also me.
But there is no smile,
there is no wave,
no glance of his eye.
Just a shiver running through,
and what else should I do?
so i rap tap tap tap.
Four
to be sure.
And now his brittle bone
shutter like stone.
"Wake Mr. Smith!
Open your eye!
See there is life
that is still left to die."
I pound to the fifth.
But whats left of this
is a quivering man
who's left to stand
and walk away in the rain
from my windowpane.
Grey as day can be,
with just the right amount of white,
comes the man with the umbrella
who prefers blindness over sight.
with just the right amount of white,
comes the rain
to pause the pain
and bring upon the light.
But there he sits,
all the same.
His park bench in the rain.
And here I sit,
all the same.
Beside my windowpane.
I tap the glass once,
perhaps he will look up.
But one tap will not do,
he remains a statue.
My hand knocks twice.
And his response?
Bleached, wrinkled face,
nothing to replace
the hallow of his eyes.
Three times to tremble the glass
is what it takes to see
that there is also me.
But there is no smile,
there is no wave,
no glance of his eye.
Just a shiver running through,
and what else should I do?
so i rap tap tap tap.
Four
to be sure.
And now his brittle bone
shutter like stone.
"Wake Mr. Smith!
Open your eye!
See there is life
that is still left to die."
I pound to the fifth.
But whats left of this
is a quivering man
who's left to stand
and walk away in the rain
from my windowpane.
Grey as day can be,
with just the right amount of white,
comes the man with the umbrella
who prefers blindness over sight.
Wow! Great job Maya. This is so good! You can tell that it took a lot of thought and it also takes a lot of thought to comprehend and understand. It makes you think and is a little confusing which is what Mr. Horvath always says is what poetry is supposed to do. Once again, great job!
ReplyDeleteYea this was really good and confusing. It seemed like a proffesional wrote it. I really like the last stanza. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a really good poem! It's confusing, which is good, and it has figurative language. It really makes the reader think about what they just read.
ReplyDeleteThere were many diffrent ways the reader could have interpreted it. It was easy to use symbollism and create your own idea of what happening. It was a great piece of poetry
ReplyDeleteThis was a fantastic piece Maya! I really liked how you rhymed some things but it wasn't like it was corny. It was obvious that you put a lot of thought into this because like George said, it sounded like a professsional wrote it! Awesome job and I hope to read more great pieces in the near future!
ReplyDeleteThis is the poem from last year, correct? Anyways it was super good and I like a lot because it has rhyming without sounding like something from Dr. Sues and on the surface its a lot less confusing than your poems usually are but if you go below the surface its clear theres a lot more to it.
ReplyDeleteThis was really good! I liked how it was confusing because it makes you think about the poem more. I also liked how you rhymed because you didn't rhyme to the point where it was annoying.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem! I can picture it very well. Also, great metaphor at the beginning. I think it was "But one tap will not do, he remains a statue."
ReplyDeleteAh Maya, you and your amazing-ness, I love this poem. That's really all I can say.
ReplyDeleteI remember you talking about this, Mayo. I really like the 9th stanza, "'Wake Mr. Smith!
ReplyDeleteOpen your eye!
See there is life
that is still left to die'"
I really liked this poem! I got confused at some points which made me think about the poem even more. I liked how you only rhymed some things so it wasn't annoying and it gave the poem a nice rhythm. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem I thought is quite good. It is confusing but, I think that is good because it makes the reader have to find out what the real meaning of the poem is. This is somewhat like the poems we go over during our Socratic circles too.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. It is great, it has figurative language, and makes the reader ask questions about the meaning of what they just read. Also, the only rhyming somewrods added an interesting rhythm. Overall, this was great and I hope to read more.
ReplyDeleteI loved this poem! It was kind of hard to understand but I could really tell what the meaning of the poem was. You did a really amazing job!
ReplyDelete