Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Thank You Red Bouncy Ball

Just a couple hours ago I was kidnapped. I was walking just around the block to my friends house. I was bouncing my favorite red ball down the cracked curb that stood infront of me. Suddenly the ball hit an edge on the sidewalk and went sprawling into the road. I chased after the ball forgetting to look both ways. Once I recieve the ball I look up to find a car racing towards me. I jump to the side without thinking and pray I won't get hit. At that moment I would have rather gotten hit by the car. Instead a man about 6 feet stood above me, scars running from his left ear to the bottom right corner of his chin. He wore a black overcoat and light, navy jeans. His hands were the size of baseball mits and his dark eyes glarred into mine until I realized I needed to go. But he didn't like that idea. I tried to crawl away but his hands grasped my waist and swung me forward facing him again. In one lift I was over his shoulder with my feet dangling infront of his head. I kicked and punched and screamed but no one knew what was going on. He ran us into a white van and blindfolded my eyes while my arms, legs and mouth were wrapped up in ducktape. There were 2 other men in the van. The smaller one had tattoos running up and down his arm and had long, greasy hair that folded behind his ears. The bigger one had glasses with one of the lenses cracked and a ripped, white T-shirt that seemed to be never washed. Both were looking all about me, I cried, terrified of what was going to happen next. Then the van stopped. The bigger man dragged me by my blonde pigtails and onto the black and white gravel. He picked me up and carried me inside. Cobwebs covered every inch of window on the porch and lanterns swung with the sway of the wind. It was nighttime by now. I couldn't see a thing outside or where we were. The man holding me brought me to a closet- sized room and dropped me, hard. My back cracked against concrete. Pain shot up and rang throughout my spine. They laughed. I fell alsleep. About 4 hours later it must have been 2 in the morning. There wasn't a sound made. I got up then felt all the pain in my back spring into action. I had to forget about that, for now I needed to get out. I creeked my door open, waiting every second to open another centimeter of the door. Not a sound. In the hallway 3 doors stood on the left, all them closed shut. I assumed that the men were in each one so I carefully walked on by hopefully not making a peep. When I reached the other side of the hall I heard footsteps coming from ahead. Suddenly the man who had taken me was right beside me. My heart stopped and I immediately turned around to run back. Too late for that. The man went to his jean pocket, lifted a gun, aimed and shot. My lifeless body descended to the ground below me.

The brightness of the sun awoke me. My eyes glued shut and wouldn't open. Finally they recieved the sight of an old, wooden room that wasn't mine. My thoughts were confused. Where was I? How'd I get here? Hello? I elevated my hand to run my fingers through my hair when i noticed the color of my skin had changed. It was tranparent. Not a thing blocked my view when my hand was raised infront of my eyes. This couldn't be. Then, right as I looked to the left of me I saw a body. A body of an 9 year old girl. A body who's chest had taken a bullet. A body who had 2 tiny, little blonde pigtails. That body was mine. I was dead.

3 comments:

  1. I realy liked this. It was a break from the perfect world type of thing, only it was a little like the story of the Lovely Bones, it was good. I also liked how the story can keep going after the last words, because of the title. The title left me to think that the ball was found, and helped solve the murder of this girl. At some points it was a little confusing; you said u were blindfolded, but you were describing what people looked like.

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  2. I liked this too. I liked how the story didn't end just after he shot the girl. It explained it more but didn't give too much detail, which made it interesting. It used foreshadowing at the end also like when it said that her skin was transparent. That was hinting that she was a ghost. I thought that was good. There was very good description as well. I agree, that it was a little confusing and didnt make sense that the girl was describing what the men looked like when she was blind folded. Overall, it was really interesting.

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  3. Oh yeah looking back I guess I forgot that I had said the girl was blindfolded. Sorry about that and the confusion but thank you for the comments.

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