Laying there in shattered glass,
shedding tears that never pass.
Near my ears are whispered lies,
of frightful memories that refuse to die…
Skipping in the forest glow,
my heart so cold I wait for snow.
Gently I chant the song,
of where the order may belong.
“The angel will die so the demon shall live
and karma may continue to give”
The metal object violently shimmered in the glow of moonlight.
Slowly, slowly I continue toward the horrific dead of the night.
shedding tears that never pass.
Near my ears are whispered lies,
of frightful memories that refuse to die…
Skipping in the forest glow,
my heart so cold I wait for snow.
Gently I chant the song,
of where the order may belong.
“The angel will die so the demon shall live
and karma may continue to give”
The metal object violently shimmered in the glow of moonlight.
Slowly, slowly I continue toward the horrific dead of the night.
What do you think is happening in the poem?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I'm right but I think she got into a car crash in the forest because she was laying in shattered glass. Also, the metal object could be the car. I thought this was really good.
ReplyDeleteI generally don't like rhyme in poetry but the line..."Near my ears are whispered lies,
ReplyDeleteof frightful memories that refuse to die…" is very strong...balanced syllables, flows beautifully.
Sorry, but I disagree, Julia, I think its more than a car crash because its like talking about the devil and angels and stuff. This poem reminds me of lyrics from the song Whisper by Evanescence. "Whispered voices at my ear death before my eyes lying next to me I fear she beckons me shall I give in?"
ReplyDeleteWow, this poem was great! You used figurative language very well which also created great imagery.
ReplyDeleteJulia, I get why you might think it was a car crash, but I think the shattered glass and even the rest of the poem have a deeper meaning than that. I almost feel like it's about a person who may have gone through, and continues to go through abuse, always getting promised something that never happens. It says, “Laying there in shattered glass… Near my ears are whispered lies of frightful memories that refuse to die."
The only thing that I dont understand is what the metal object is.
Wow, I didn't expect to find so many comments. By the way Kami your absolutely right, the poem has larger meaning than a car crash, like you said the main character has been mentally abused to the point where she's given up hope, at least that's how I ment it to mean. Although, that's why I asked everyone what they thought was happening in the poem to see what others thought when they read it and if other's were able to find the point I was trying to get accross. As for the metal object... either a knife or gun for trying to get rid of whoever she belives is the angel, herself giving up hope or her hypnotic tormenter.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Elise. Kami is right about there being imagery. Very god with that and also, you used rhymed but managed to do so perfectly! It didn't seem like you were trying to find a word that rhymes. Also, the figurative language was very good. I disagree with Mr. Horvath. I think that line is good and fits with the rest of the piece.
ReplyDeleteyou did a great job on this poem! but i don't really get this line,“The angel will die so the demon shall live and karma may continue to give”
ReplyDelete