Monday, January 24, 2011
Forever Young
It seemed like last week that Megan Johnson was packing her backpack and hopping on the bus for the first day of Kindergarten. She remembered the butterflies that were flying around in her stomach like a scared flock of birds. It seemed like yesturday she felt as cool as a celebrity going into a new middle school. She remembered all the gossip that was going around. It seemed like an hour ago that she was just starting high school. Nervous and excited, she waited for the bell to ring, the cue to begin first period. It seemed like it was two minutes ago, she was just a young girl. But it wasnt 2 minutes ago, it was 20 years ago. Megan was getting ready to start her first major job, away from home, away from friends, away from family. She had just graduated college. She wished badly to have the young girl she once was to just come back. Even if it was only a day, she wanted to be little again. She wanted to be a carefree little girl just one more time. Now that Megan looked back, she realized that all of her childhood was gone. She needed to grow up, and face reality. But the problem was, Megan didnt want to grow up, she wanted to forever young.
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I like this piece. There were some good writing strategies in the beginning and this would be a good piece to continue with.
ReplyDeleteI liked this story. It seemed like a story someone can relate to. But the story was also kinda boring. It was boring because you did not really go into that much detail and describe anything that much. Also you kept repeating. But overall i thought it was a good story.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was really good because it had a great meaning. What i got out of it was to never grow up, or to not rush growing up. Therefore, it made the story much more interesting and something people could relate to. Although, i think you can use more of an expanded moment when you describe the feeling she has of going to school. Good job! (:
ReplyDeleteThis story was really good but, I think you could have put a little more figurative language and expanded moments. Using these writing tricks would make the story a lot more interesting. This was a story that people can relate to. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very relatable topic. Good job!
ReplyDelete