to be ensnared in a spider's web
I imagine
would be frightening
for the more I struggle
the more I am tangled
very much like
being trapped in a lie
that is not mine
to be a spider
I imagine
would make me feel godly
in power
in control
able to take a life
as I sink my fangs into
my victims flesh
piercing souls
and feasting upon essence
until I am full
And to be a spider
trapped
in its own web
I imagine
would be irony at its best
to struggle
but never succeed
and starve
unable to break free
or maybe I would take my life
piercing my own soul
so that it could be set free
of this silk web of lies
I had spun
Feedback please!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a little rusty because I haven't written any poetry in a while. So please tell me what you think. Can you tell what it is about?
I think it may be a little bit too obvious.
I like it's blantacy(if that's a word?). It's a great expansion on one like simile! I love how you took one idea and expanded it so much!
ReplyDeleteI am kind of confused. Are you saying that eventually even the person who is telling the lie (spider I guess) will get caught up in the mess that it has created with others, and then they will then be tangled too?
ReplyDeleteI'm unsure of what you are trying to say. My guess is that even people with power can lose the path in life. I enjoyed reading it but it would not be as enjoyable if you completely removed aspects of uncertainty. So what I'm saying more things need to be clarified but not everything.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good poem but I am alittle confused about what these is poem is mainly about.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little surprised. I thought this poem was too obvious and easy to understand. I guess maybe thats just because I wrote it. (So of course I would know what it's about)
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do you not understand? I would be more than happy to clarify/change the poem.
I am also not really sure what your saying. Your getting there though. I am trying to think what you are saying in general though. like what Rory said when a person is telling a lie will get caught up in a mess that has effected others. Keep practicing, add some more flow to it and make it more interesting.
ReplyDelete