You never know,
where it came from,
many possibilities
A forest in Colorado,
or just a branch in NY,
many possibilities
But think of,
the waste of a tree,
just for one unforgivable,
written late on Sunday night,
that won't be used again
Could end back in the same starting area,
after its been wasted,
but its still part of a quagmire
Just think of the work that had to be done,
to get that piece of paper in your printer,
but all you do is cause a quagmire
There is always a use for something,
paper shouldn't be discarded,
Do not cause a quagmire
I wrote this to work on my writing goal. My strategy was thinking in opposites, and my writing goal is to get better at brainstorming. A "quagmire" is a bad situation if you didn't know.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job brainstorming and thinking of a topic everyone can relate to. Also, there was not great word choice except quagmire I think this would be an easy adjustment though because of how it was thought out so changing some words would make it great.
ReplyDeleteI also feel like you could have kept on putting many possibilities at the end of each stanza because you did it in the beginning and i thought it was really creative but then you stopped and it would have made the poem even better by using repetition.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rachel how you should have continued adding possibilities. Adding in that repetition would have made the message of your stronger and more effective. I liked how you said, " Just think of the work that had to be done, to get that piece of paper in your printer" because I think most people don't think about all the work that is done to get that paper, they just know that it's always been there so they don't think about it that way.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good poem becasue it seemed like you put a lot of brainstorming but rachel and Kim are right you could have put more brainstorming into it by adding more possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI also have a connection to this poem because when I was in fifth grade I remember that everybody was calling each other quagmires because we had just learned what they are and everyone thought it was funny.
ReplyDelete