As she walks down the beach,
she makes sure not to pick up the plain shells.
As she walks through a meadow,
She makes sure not to pick up the misplaced flowers.
As she walks through the bazaar,
She makes sure not to buy the bruised apple.
As she proceeds through her life,
She makes sure not to look at those who lack perfection.
This poem was really good! I liked your theme and how you were saying that some people cant see beyond the outside and only tolerate perfection. The only thing that I noticed was that you did a lot of telling rather than showing. In this line "As she walks through the bazaar,
ReplyDeleteShe makes sure not to buy the bruised apple.
As she proceeds through her life,
She makes sure not to look at those who lack perfection." I feel like you told the reader istead of implied it to the reader. Overall I think it was really good poem. Just try to imply more of what you are trying to say.
this poem is really interesting and it was interesting to see it from a different point of view. I also like all the imagery like the bruised apple and the misplaced flowers. overall really good piece.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was indeed interesting. I thought that the repetition was very good and used very well in this poem because you are giving a point that she is making sure to pick the right objects and to choose the most wise and right things in her future life. The overall message was clear to me and that I can tell that there is a lot of imgery as well. Therefore, the poem was very interesting and had a good clear meaning to get people almost motivated by what your saying.
ReplyDeleteI thought this poem was very good Liburdi, I understand where your coming from with the whole theme of the poem on how you can't always pick out the small bad things in someone, you have to accept the majority of things in life. I good really picture this in my head, and the last sentence is very true and easy to relate to!
ReplyDeleteThis poem has really good imagery and it has many different themes as well. Im sure that everyone can all relate to this poem. Good job.
ReplyDelete