Small water droplets plummet to the earth
Striking my skin
Chilling the blood in my veins
Freezing all thought except the pain
I tilt my head upwards
Withstanding the torture of a thousand droplets
Pounding endlessly on my skin
Exploding all around me
As the rain met the ground
A scent lifts into the air
Every breath filling my lungs
With the revolting moisture
And the droplets snake down my face
Penetrating my lips
Filling my mouth slowly
With the abominations from the sky
I try to run
But the rain falls everywhere
Engulfing me in a world of water
As I scream into the rain
I loved the sensory images in this poem. When I read it I could feel, smell, hear, and taste everything you described. My favorite line was when you said,
ReplyDelete"Striking my skin
Chilling the blood in my veins
Freezing all thought except the pain"
I could imagine exactly what this felt like.
A good poem should be able to seem real to its reader, and yours did just that! Good job!!
Just like Maren said I also really loved the sensory images in this poem! It made me feel like i was standing in the rain and it actually made me feel really fresh. One of my favorite lines from this poem was when you said, "I tilt my head upwards
ReplyDeleteWithstanding the torture of a thousand droplets
Pounding endlessly on my skin
Exploding all around me"
I really liked this line because it reminded me of when i was a little kid and i used to stand outside and play in the rain (i still do sometimes). Overall, i absolutely loved this poem and the sensory detail t you included, it really made me enjoy the whole poem. Keep it up!