How awful would it be if you were just a head with no body, legs, or arms? Well Jack Taylor knows how it is. Jack is a bodiless boy and every day his mother puts him on the windowsill and he watches the boys and girls play outside. Jack was always so jealous, he was also always upset, and he needed a way out.
One hot summer day he was watching from his normal spot and his mom got a call from the Dr. Edwards, a very famous rich and successful doctor. He offered a chance of a life time deal; he could give Jack a full working body free of charge. The doctor picked Jack because he was the only bodiless person in America. Jack and his mother agreed this would be a great idea and Jack was ecstatic.
On the day Jack came home with a full body and a rehabilitation specialist, he learned how to walk and move like a real boy. He was so pleased and happy for himself and asked his mother if he could go play outside. His mother said yes and he sprinted out the door and was immediately hit by a car and died. The moral of this story is quit while you’re a head.
I thought this story was kind of funny especially the title "Quit while you are a-head" because the main character was a head and when he got his body he immediately was hit by a car.For example "His mother said yes and he sprinted out the door and was immediately hit by a car and died." Therefore it was ironical
ReplyDeleteAhaahaaaahaaahahaaaaaa "He sprinted out the door and was immediately hit by a car" Funny line, no?
ReplyDeleteBut anyways, heres some constructive criticism.
1Add more detail. "He was hit by a car." "He was sad" Thats telling. Try SHOWING the reader whats happening.
2 Never end the story by saying "the moral of the story is......" Just don't. Please.