The pregame jitters as the court stares you down
You look in your hands like you saw a creepy clown
You are scared of what lies ahead
But then you put this game to bed
You shoot the lights out, swish, swish, swish
Everything went in just like your wish
The game was won
It's already done?
I like this poem because it has a nice transition from different parts of the game and it uses a combination of repetition for effect and onomatopoeia. The use of rhyming every line helps create rhythm which allows the transition of different parts of the game to flow nicely. When you say "Swish, Swish, Swish", not only is this good use of onomatopoeia but it is repetition for effect also, because it shows us not tells us that you kept making your shots. Therefore, because you had a nice flow to your poem and you combined repetition for effect and onomatopoeia in the same line, this a good poem that I like.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem because it is a good limerick. I enjoy reading limericks because the rhyming makes it flow much better. It had a good rhythm and goes well. I think that it is about basketball because that is what a swish is. There is good use of figurative language which is good because it is describing. "Swish Swish Swish" is a good example of onomatopoeia and alliteration. Therefore poems can be good too.
ReplyDeleteI loved your use of rhymes to make the poem flow but the poem didn't really make me think about life or theme or something. Therefore you should try to include more symbols and secret meanings.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem because it used rhyming. Sometimes rhymes can get annoying in a poem but these rhymes helped the flow. I don't think the poem would have been as good if you didn't use the rhymes. Therefore, I like your poem.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a good poem because you used rhyming which give a poem better flow occasionally.For example where it says,"You are scared of what lies ahead But then you put this game to bed."Therefore this show that you use rhyming to make your poem flow better.
ReplyDeleteI liked the concept of this poem but I thought that the poem wan't that good because you had too much end rhyme. Mr. Horvath said to rhyme inside the lines. Therefore your poem doesn't have good rhyme but a good concept.
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